Whether you’re a woman or a man, it’s worth asking: what is marriage really for anymore?
Is it about physical intimacy? Let’s be honest—these days, that’s not locked behind marriage.
Is it about companionship? The strange truth is, marriage can make your world smaller. And sooner or later, even with someone lying next to you, you realize you are still walking a road that is yours alone.
That’s the burden of our generation.
We are not like our parents, who bent themselves into shapes to make things last, who carried duty like a badge. And we are not like the kids coming after us, who shrug, walk away, and keep moving without looking back. We are stuck in between—too restless to settle, too cautious to leap, and too aware to sit quietly in places that don’t feel right.
What happens when the person you married doesn’t see you, doesn’t understand you? When they stop being a partner and become a weight you drag behind? That silence, that loneliness inside togetherness—it’s a lesson no one prepares you for.
I wish someone had sat me down and told me this instead:
Study what you love, not what looks good on paper. Work hard, yes, but not at the cost of your body. Sleep, eat, move—because without health, success is just decoration. Don’t forget your parents, your siblings, the ones who stood beside you before anyone else. Start investing early—don’t just save, build. Build so your future self doesn’t beg your present self for mercy. Travel. Taste new foods. Touch new skies. Collect stories, not just things. Write them down so you can read them back when memory starts to fade. Stay free as long as your bones, your breath, your energy will let you.
And when the day comes—because it will—when your body whispers “slow down,” then choose a place you love. Settle there. Find people who carry the same light. Share what you’ve seen. Listen to what they’ve carried. That, maybe, is the closest thing to real companionship.
Because the truth is, most of the “rules” we live by were written in another world. A world of shorter lives, tighter economies, heavier social walls. That world is gone. And if the rules no longer fit, maybe the cage doesn’t either.
So don’t bind yourself to obligations that aren’t yours. Don’t abandon love, but don’t confuse love with duty either. Live lightly. Live honestly. Carry less weight than the people before you had to.
In the end, the question isn’t whether marriage is good or bad. The real question is:
Are we brave enough to write a life that is ours, not borrowed from someone else’s definition?
